It’s a beautiful Sunday afternoon here in the heart of Waikiki; The lovely Kristina and I are enjoying endless rays, jamming out to my new found favorite band (skyrocket love, check them out), and wondering What the Heck is going on with the Minnesota Vikings. Drama Surrounded QB, Unproductive D Line, slobs of Offensive Linemen such as Bryant McKinnie (do we need to revisit what he did on Al and Alma’s boat cruise?), and yet there is hope in the fact that we have two of the more talented position players in the NFL (Harvin and Peterson). Did the players quit on Chilly? Yes. Is Favre miserably unproductive? Yes. Does Loadholt seem like a little kid looking at butterflies instead of blocking? Yes. Do our Defensive Backs know how to tackle, catch, cover a receiver, or have football instincts? No. Regardless, the team is a change. Not everything points to the head coach, But, he should simply do everyone a favor and check out. The ticker on ESPN will read: Wolf fires Childress; Frazier steps in as Interim Head Coach. Favre retires Mid Season. Jackson to lead newly found run and gun offense.
Cool. Go Colts.
What’s Kokohead Kraig? What are you talking about Cataclysmic Calamity?
Kokohead is a beast. To those geography majors, Kokohead is a cinder cone remaining from the last active volcano that occurred on O'ahu approximately 10,000 years ago. This crater is the tallest tuff ring in Hawaii, measuring 1,207 feet in height, and an old artillery station. To me, it is an enigma, a test from the G-O-D himself, for He must have known that when I embarked upon this hike I was going to be miserably hungover.
Friday night consisted of a fun night with the team: Japanese Steakhouse, Saki, Korean Karaoke Bar (interesting), Coconut Willy’s and Senor Frogs for dancing. Head pounding, mouth parched, body aching, my teammate woke me up to say she was going hiking at Kokohead with a friend. We originally planned to tackle this mountain together and I couldn’t back out. Step 1, get out of bed, accomplished.
We departed for the mountain around 10:30am, probably the worst time to ever go on a hike that has no shading and is pretty much a 1200ft VERTICAL climb. Barf. Don’t worry, I did, but we will go into those details later.
Looking like Joe Cool with my Maui Jim’s on (sp) because my eyes were oversensitive, grabbing a bottle of water, I used the 20 minute drive to take a quick nap. Sudden Stop. Geez T-Lo, easy with the driving por favor. With every turn, every break, my stomach clenched and felt as though it were a towel being rung out. I suppose this isn’t all that inaccurate considering I was dehydrated.
By the time we arrived at Kokohead my head felt like it were about to explode. Cranking my neck to look at the top of the mountain, Jeff (T-lo’s friend), simply looked over and said, “I can’t believe the two of you are about to do this in your condition.”
Hip, Hup, Just a mountain.
Step after step felt as though the trip was an inch closer to death. Are we there yet?
Oh…My…Word…What the hell is that?
Pointing at this near vertical climb roughly ¾ of the way up the mountain, I had THE moment. You know what that moment is. We experience it every day after a great night of partying. Ah, I’m just gonna lay in bed for another hour. No need to work out today, I will work out tomorrow. Mmmm, give me a slice of pepperoni pizza.
Thinking to myself that I still had over 90% of the mountain to go, this was a perfect opportunity to turnaround. On my left shoulder perched this evil devil, laughing at me for the night before. Kraig, turn around, go grab a beer. (no folks, I am not talking about Jeff Barlow, nor am I hearing voices, or insane…last comment might be questionable). Trudging forward, step after step, he kept getting louder and louder. But luckily, nearing about 50% completion, I received encouragement from the sweet angel on my right (no, I am not talking about Kristina, and again, nor am I insane). Kraig, in forty seven seconds you are going to be given the five minute flu. Do this: Purge yourself? The angel left and I, again, was back on my own with the looming decision in the forefront.
BLAGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Have any of you ever thrown up on a sixty degree incline mountain with a narrow path and very little room to the side? Well, I did. It was awkward. People stared, pointed, laughed, and I wonder if they thought I was out of shape. For all of those that stopped I just wanted to turn around and yell, “No, I am not out of shape, I just had Saki bombs last night and partied my heart out.” But, the inner peace that followed this wonderful purge held me back and my legs regained their strength.
With the energy, I climbed my heart out Rocky style singing, “it’s the, eye of the tiger, it’s the grit of the fight…” every 15 steps.
This is cliché, but as I neared the top, I jogged harder; and upon reaching the top, I walked up to Jeff, gave him a high five, turned around, and raised my arms in triumph. Beat that Rocky.
Every sweat drop, Every muscle ache, Every stop along the path to ‘catch my breath’ was worth it! The view on the top of the mountain is astonishing. Stretching for miles and miles due to the clear sky, I could see EVERYTHING. Other islands, ocean barges in the distance, Waikiki, Diamond Head, Hanauma Bay, you name it, and I could see it.
There you have it, with every trial, every tribulation, we must find ways to overcome that. Mine was an angel perched on my right shoulder. What is yours?
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